After nearly 15 months of fighting ever increasing health challenges my sweet love eventually could fight no longer. She was tired, she was physically and emotionally depleted and in the end succumbed quickly to an infection she no longer had the strength to overcome. I held her in my arms as she slipped away and I would have traded places with her unhesitatingly.
If you truly love someone, remember that you can never tell them that you love them too often, you can never hold them enough, you can never praise them or encourage them enough. Because if, like me, you lose them then you will realise that no matter what you did it will never have been enough to fill the aching emptiness created by their leaving.
So I now face the challenge of rebuilding my life without someone I could happily have spent 25 hours a day with. I know I will do it in time and hopefully I can continue the growth that my darling encouraged, helped and supported. I need to live for her memory as well as myself. In time I am sure I will be active on dA again, but until then, if I do not thank people for faves or reply to comments it will be because I am still struggling to make sense of a new kind of life.
My darling Chrissie, my love and my life, you will live in my heart forever.